Citizens Committee To Abolish The Two Party System
544A Camp Street
New Orleans, La.

The continued maintenance of the two party system is a costly and pernicious mistake. Each election year bundles of money and vituperative and divisive rhetoric are squandered to conjure up a Grand Canyon like chasm that supposedly separates the two parties. Anybody foolish enough to buy this hyperpromoted nonsense should consider that the Republicans are reputed to be financially responsible and the Democrats are for the working man. As the former son of this illustrious State once put it, the only difference between the two, is one skins you from the feet up and the other from the head down.

This great nation began with one party, it should go back to it. As for the election itself, that exercise in shamocracy is an antiquated and fraudulent bore. Since the country is in reality (you remember reality, that was before television) owned and run by the top 1% wealthiest people, they should choose the President. No better model for how this elite should elect their leaders is the running of the immensely popular Academy Awards. Sure the show drags a bit at 3 hours plus, but compared to a year and a half of standard electioneering, it's a lightning strike.

Election year the lucky oligarchs would be mailed their ballots and the results of their voting announced at an awards ceremony. In familiar fashion, the evening of course would start slowly with the selection of undersecretary of transportation and build to a rousing climax with the envelope please election of the Chief of State.