You know what you want.
You want real cola.
Not that simpy, carmelized dishwater purveyed everywhere.
You want Loco Cola.
Made from our secret Aztec formula
(we start with sagebrush, Jimson weed and cola nuts and go from there)
It's like a day in the country...if the country is on another planet
Tell your friends and family you'll be away for a while and enjoy a Loco Cola.

Demand Loco Cola where you shell out your pesetas.